Oh Boy...

He was in my dream last night. A beautiful, kind, sweet, gentle-hearted boy was holding my hand as I got my wisdom teeth taken out. Not the most romantic of stories, but to me it was perfect. And in that moment as tears streamed down my cheeks, he took my hand in his to tell me it was alright and that he was here for me always. ...Then I heard the rude buzz of my alarm clock, and nearly cried because I realized it was all a dream.

I was going to go to class and sit next to him, while he would remain totally clueless to my feelings. He would smile and giggle as Dr. Dipo says things that don't make sense, and then he'd ask me if I got that problem correct. True, I could tell him how I feel, but wouldn't that just make things awkward if he didn't feel the same way? I mean, honestly, I have every single class with this boy. I am best friends with him and all his roommates. I would be messing with the "family" structure, as one of my newly-transferred friends puts it. It would be a mess.

At the same time, it was him who called me as soon as he got to campus to tell me that he had arrived. It was him who has decided to sit next to me in four different classes on the first day. It was him who offered to wash my towel for me because he used it to wipe off his sandy feet at the beach. It was him who, last night, showed me a video of a car he liked and looked over to me, smiled his adorable smile and said, "It's cute, just thought you'd like that." You KNOW I did all I could not to answer, "You're cute too."

God, I'm really not all that great at this whole patience thing. It has been three long years since a boy has wrapped me up in his arms just because he loves me. And this boy seems to be getting the best of me, and he's trying my patience oh so much. I don't know what to do.

Dear God, please help me to be patient. Amen.