Love.

So I was way discouraged going into this Harvest weekend. Harvest is a regional conference held by InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. At one leadership team a month ago, John Wags told us to get a lot of people to go to Harvest, because it would be a good way to show the regional staff directors that Behrend's chapter was doing well and perhaps they would do more things to help us out (example, send another staff down here to help with Mercyhurst...which would be awesome). I tried to encourage going to Harvest, and every weekly email for a month had a Harvest plug on the bottom..but in the end only 3 students (including me) and 2 alum went to the conference, me being the youngest. As I looked at the huge group of 17 from Clarion and the even huger group of 20+ from Carnegie Mellon, I felt like I had failed. We were the tiniest group there. Seriously, what kind of leader am I? Not a single new member wanted to go, and I had let Wags down.

Another leadership team member decided at the last minute to not go, which was INCREDIBLY frustrating. I went because I care about my chapter, and I don't want it to die. The 13-person chapter fellowships are making me sad, Aeriale wanting to quit after only a semester of being coordinator for chapter fellowship makes me even sadder, and I don't have the time to do any of the book-keeping type stuff that needs to be done. We don't have the resources to raise up new leaders because the four leaders we have barely know what they're doing, and the people who would be leaders don't care. It's impossible for me to dedicate as much time as should be put into this kind of task.

The conference taught me that we need to love each other, we need to care. One of the workshops I went to asked the question, "What are the most highly valued positions in your chapter?" Aaron sat next to me and whispered "I don't think anyone in our chapter values any one else." And it's true. The people who have volunteered to lead prayer meetings show up at their meetings out of obligation, pray for 10 minutes, and then leave. Sometimes they forget to even go to their meetings, but "it doesn't matter, because no one usually coms to that meeting anyway." That's a TERRIBLE attitude. Nobody goes to prayer meetings because they don't want to take the time to pray for the chapter's needs and the campus' needs. I bet if there was some PASSION in it, they would come. But I can't make them have passion for prayer, they need to experience it themselves. And I don't have the resources to train my leaders to have passion in their prayers. That's something that comes from their own hearts, not mine.

If you ask anyone in our chapter to lead a bible study, they will immediately respond with a "No, I don't want to do that. I just want to go to them." Try it, it happens. "Who wants to lead a bible study?" "Certainly not me." I don't know what to do. This weekend, I learned a lot about managing my time and how I DO need to step down. I've been a leader for 2 years, and it's time for a fresh new prayer coordinator, one that is not a junior mechanical engineering major and will acually be able to put their all into the position. But I need someone willing and able to do that.

We also need to start caring about each other. Love the person next to you. Appreciate what they do. Tell Aeriale thank you after Chapter Fellowship so she feels like she's done well (and she does wonderfully). It's really corny, but what would Jesus do? He loves us, and we are selfish enough to blow off the things that are important to Him. If there's anything I learned this weekend, it's that it's not about us. It's about bringing glory to God by spreading his news on campus, and by loving one another in community. It's about LOVE.