Friday, August 9, 2013

Roommates

Since coming to college (and even, before then), I've always had roommates.  I shared a bedroom up through the end of college, and shared an apartment with at least two other girls for the two years after.  When I moved into the current apartment I live in now last July, I had just one roommate in a semi-large two-bedroom apartment.  Aside from the comically small bathroom we shared, that was the most space I've had to myself in...ever.  

The plan was for her to live with me for about a year (when she moved in, she was on the verge of engagement/marriage so we understood that) and be my last roommate (other than, you know, husband/kids/etc).  I was a big girl now and could afford to live on my own, so why not?  The other bedroom could be a nice office, and I could live alone until husband/kids/etc.  

I was perfectly comfortable with this arrangement.  

Anyway, we got along and she was a nice girl, but it felt forced at times.  She spent almost zero time in the apartment, other than sleeping, so getting to know her was a challenge.  I was always slightly frustrated with her absence, and it took me awhile to figure out why.  I mean, she was free to make her own life choices, and it's not like she was shirking on the chores and being a generally bad roommate, because she wasn't.  I recently have come to the conclusion that it was because I wanted a roommate who was also a friend...somebody to watch girl movies with, eat ice cream with, and talk about boys late into the night with.  All of my other roommates have at least given me some semblance of friendship, whereas her roommateship seemed that she couldn't care less about ever getting to know me.  She wanted to spend time with her favorite person and that person only.  It bothered me because I felt left out.  I don't think she ever once said "yes" to any of the things I invited her to do with me.  My feelings were hurt.  

And that's really not her fault.  She was an adult who could make her own life decisions.  That's just how I felt.  

Anyway, immediately after she moved out this past March, I had no intention of replacing her.  I was okay hanging out with my cat.  I could shower whenever I wanted to.  I could walk around the apartment without pants.  Nobody else ever made a mess that got in my way.  I always had complete control of the TV and living room.  And then, the novelty of living alone wore off in about...2 weeks.  Sure, having the bathroom to myself was AWESOME, but that seemed to be the only perk.  Bills were twice as expensive.  And even though I never really had the friendship with my previous roommate, I suddenly felt her absence as well.  I had seriously NEVER lived alone, ever, up until that point.  Ever.  

I was lonely.  

Also in this time period, Dave had gone back to Erie for a few weeks.  My friends who were grad students had lots of homework and final projects to do.  So super-lonely.  Me + cat lonely.  I watched a lot of Netflix.  It was also a really cold March.  Most of what happened in March is pictured below.  
  
  


So I have a roommate again.  She is a girl I've gotten to know through some church things, and she is a grad student.  Last weekend she finished up her moving-in.  My friend-neighbor Jason came over on Saturday night.  And when I asked her if she wanted to spend time in the living room playing cards and drinking beer with Jason, Dave, and I, she said YES.  I think it was the happiest moment ever.  

We also went to HomeGoods to buy some baskets, and did some organizing of the tiny bathroom and other areas of the apartment.

We will be a good pair :-).  

Have you lived alone?  With roommates?  Which do you prefer?  

Do you have any fun roommate stories?  

3 comments:

Sky said...

I only lived alone for one semester of my life. It was very nice, but it was in college so I spent all my time with friends anyway. I love living with my husband!

Aeriale and Zach said...

Molly,

I've yet to live on my own - but I am about to (hopefully) make that happen soon. This entire summer, I've lived with 16 other people - all between the ages of 19-26, males and females, and all of which are interns here in DC.

The first week, I was on the verge of strangling every one of them...and then, we became friends. I do love having roommates, but I can honestly say I love books and movies too much to ever be bored or lonely by myself. But when that time comes to have zero roomies, I will keep you posted ;)

Enjoy your new roomie!

A.

Moll moll said...

Oh man Aeriale, 16 roommates sounds like WAY too many. I am good with just the one :-).