Valentiney fun

So, valentine's day has always been slightly disappointing for me the past few years being single and all, but I have always made the best of it, usually by ignoring the fact that the holiday exists altogether. This year I was bombarded with friends wanting to make plans (for singles, of course) so I went along with it and hosted a mini-valentine's day party in my apartment. It was fun, although my apartment is wayyy too tiny for that sort of thing. Anywhoo, not the point of this blog post...

What I meant to blog about is the sermon the pastor gave in church this morning. I have gone to this church exactly once before with some friends, and decided to go again this week because I liked it. And hey, I can always go to Mass on campus at night afterwards since I have virtually no homework this weekend.

The sermon was valentine-themed, and focused on the 5 romantic mistakes couples (and soon-to-be couples) can make. Holy freaking relevant, mostly because it was directed more so towards the people who weren't in relationships than the people who were. I've been single for like, my whole life (minus those few sparratic weeks/months in 2005), but I've pretty much never really DESIRED to be single. If a perfectly wonderful, smart, charming boy who had a heart so incredibly wrapped up in God told me I was beautiful and asked me out, I would SO be on board. Problem is, it doesn't happen. The 4 total boys who have asked me out since coming to college have turned me off in some aspect or another, whether it was spiritually, physically, or emotionally, so I said no to each one of them. It's not to say that they weren't nice guys...they were...they just weren't for me. I've always looked back on turning them down and wondered if I was being too picky. Did I really expect the PERFECT guy to come along and sweep me off my feet? That definitely only happens in the movies...but I was waiting for it in real life.

Oh, and the few boys that I have had major crushes on since coming to college, I certainly haven't had the courage to tell them I liked them, or ask them out. I've watched one fall in love with another girl who has a personality uncannily similar to mine, and another I'm still dealing with possibly working up the courage to tell in the midst of completing a heat transfer assignment. But I'm afraid of rejection, hurt, and making things awkward. Ruffling feathers is something I do not enjoy doing.

So the pastor's sermon mentioned the 5 costly romantic mistakes. A list of Don'ts, so to speak. Here they are:

DON'T:

1. Date someone without a personal relationship with God.
-This is the reason I said no to boy number 1. It was the first week of freshman year, he was cute, and thought I was cute as well. I'm not gonna lie, I flirted with this kid a lot. And it worked (for the record, he's the ONLY person that has asked me out after I've flirted with him). After he asked me out, my body wanted to say yes but then I thought about it. There's this wonderful God in heaven that gives my life shape and meaning, and he doesn't believe in Him. Probably not a good starting point in a relationship...

2. Let physical appearance control you.
-Boy number one who asked me out was cute...I almost let it control me when I gave in and flirted up a storm. But the pastor also mentioned the fact that we need to be physically attracted to the people we date. Sometimes that comes with knowing them for an amount of time, sometimes it comes right away. But if you marry someone and wake up in the morning and are repulsed by what you see, that's not a good situation. Everyone is attracted to different people. there are definite physical similarities between the boys I've liked in the past and the boy I like now. And now I know that that's okay.

3. Have premarital sex.
- Kinda self-explanatory. Don't do it. I already knew this. But it's wayy good to follow this one :-)

4. Ignore character flaws.
- I am still good friends with the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th boys who asked me out. The main reasons I turned them down is because, when I first met them, they kind of annoyed me. One of them talked really loudly and a lot, another told really depressing stories about himself all the time, and the third prank-called me and wouldn't admit when I called him out on it over the phone, (which was an instant turn-off...lying = bad...just don't do it). All of them were Christian boys who are perfectly nice and have a strong love for Christ, but there was no way a relationship would have worked out with any of them. I could have ignored the character flaws I saw and joined in a relationship for the sake of being in one, but that would have ended with me constantly having to turn my ears away each time they opened their mouths. It wouldn't have been pretty. They're great awesome people but not for me. 2 out of 3 of them have found other relationships and are much happier in those than they would have been with me. I wasn't being picky when I turned them down, I was avoiding inevitable relationship failure. And that would have ruined the friendships I have now :-)

5. Allow your romance to undermine your relationship with God.
- This one is more focused for the already-couples, but it makes sense. Getting so wrapped up in the relationship that you forget about God is definitely not a good situation. Pray together, read scripture together, and get to know one another as people of Christ. It will make the relationship so much stronger.

All-in-all I am content with my single-ness. I definitely wouldn't mind being in a relationship, but I'll do that when God feels I'm ready. That's when He will send me my prince charming. He may not be as shiny as the movies, but he will be the perfect man for me.

That is all I have to say about that. I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep going to this church, if not for any reason other than the sermons. And of course there will be Mass in the evenings. Oh what a joyous day Sunday is :-)



I just remembered there was a 5th boy who asked me out. He didn't work out for different reasons entirely. There's another rule that the pastor didn't mention about dating your friends' exes. Bad idea...I did it once in high-school, never again.