He can see through everything but my heart

Good song. Sometimes I feel like my life can be defined by Taylor Swift lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLJ4HN_5Uuw

As a side note: whoever made this video looks to have recorded straight from the Disney channel. Is that legal?

Living for the weekends!

I have never had a longer string of weekends where I am nowhere near the place that I live. Since September 18, I have not spent a weekend in State College, and I won't again until Oct 29th. I was talking to one of my friends about this, and I had pretty much decided that I was spending so many weekends away because I don't have enough friends in State College yet to keep me occupied. I also am in a different part of the state than I normally am, and so I can visit places more easily from here than I could from Erie (Philadelphia, York, Maryland, etc). My friend retaliated by saying that I wouldn't make any friends in State College if I spent all of my weekends away from here. Touche, Jess, touche. I used to stay in Erie because that's where my life was, that's where my friends were, that's the place that I felt at home, and State College won't start feeling at home until I make it my home. It's a rough balance. Because, while I love traveling and seeing people that I love dearly, I also want new people in my life to be able to visit in the future. Traveling is also exhausting, and expensive, and I have spent a few late Sunday nights completing homework because of my weekends away. But variety is the spice of life, right? And I've certainly been having fun :-)

Since September 18th, I have spent at least a night in Philadelphia, Erie, and Polk (all PA cities/towns). Before October 30, I will have added York PA and Middle River MD to my list. The only place on that list that I had ever been to before this month was Erie. I have visited and will visit friends that I haven't seen in a very long time. I'm especially excited for this weekend, where I will go Hayride-ing and pumpkin-carving with some of my friends from Indiana this summer, as a mini-ex-Cummins-Interns-Reunion. So awesome.

Well, if I don't spend enough time here now, I certainly will when it starts to snow and I'm stuck here. Maybe then I'll start feeling like I'm at home :-)

2:40am

Is when I finished my homework last night. Gah. It's totally my fault too, since I went home this weekend and did no homework between Friday at 11:00am and Sunday at 4:00pm. Although I was halfway done with the homework before leaving for the weekend, but whatever.

But I did discover the library, which is HUGE. With big tables and couches. I might go there more often.

It's a beautiful day

Today, was probably my favorite non-weekend day in State College so far. And probably the first day that I've been here that I didn't regret the decision to come to grad school instead of going out and getting a real job. It's funny too, because today wasn't particularly out of the ordinary in any way. It was just...good.

This morning: I woke up early enough to have a substantial quiet time. Lately it's been a few rushed minutes in the morning where I've tried to read a few chapters of my Bible and reflect quickly on the reading, but this morning was good. I also switched it up, and went for Romans 9. It's some thoughtful stuff, and actually reminded me of my summer. Read it.

I was at campus, as usual, by 9:00 am. I started my day working at the lab doing research. I was able to sort thermocouples and use a power drill. It was a good and productive few hours at the lab.

After lunch, I went to my second job, the job of TA. I finished grading my students' quizzes and entered their grades into their little spreadsheet. I also edited the professor's first draft of the test they will be getting on Monday, sending him a little helpful email containing the suggestions I have. After organizing those things, I was done with grading until tomorrow, when they will hand in their 4th homework assignment.

At 2:00 I had a teleconference with the industrial sponsor for the research I've been working on. Now, this research isn't really mine, I will (hopefully) get my own funded project in January. For now I'm helping out another grad student with his. Regardless, the teleconference went well and it was fun hearing feedback from Pratt&Whitney about our progress.

After that, I ran into a friend in the hallway. We chatted for a bit before I headed off to the library. I then spent the next 3 hours there, studying for my fluids exam (next Wednesday, eek), and doing some conduction homework (due on Monday, more eek). I was able to condense all of my fluids notes into 4 pages, and got the beginning figures and boundary conditions set up for my conduction homework. I also read over my conduction book to make sure I understand the concepts.

I then walked down to Panera and ate my favorite bagel ever (asiago cheese...mmm) and a pumpkin spice latte (it's falll!!). I ran into another girl in my fluids class while I was there, and we had dinner together with one of her friends. It was good to relax and eat some dinner with new friends.

I then walked a few blocks downtown to check out Reformed University Fellowship (RUF), a Christian organization on campus that a few of my friends who had transferred here from Behrend were involved in. We sang some awesome worship songs, I got to meet some new people, see some old friends, and the topic was really helpful. The speaker essentially spoke about losing our focus and falling under the false assumption that we need something other than Jesus to be fulfilled. He spoke about the "I need Jesus AND to do well on this test (or fill-in-the-blank with your own: have a boyfriend, wear perfect clothes, never swear or drink, always go to bed before 10, have everybody like me, have my sports team win, always pray for 32 minutes a day, be first in my class, etc.) in order to be happy and for Jesus to love me" sort of mentality that plagues me often. It was a good message. It put into perspective a lot of the issues I've been having with being happy about being here. He also mentioned thankfulness, and how if we're not thankful for what we've been given (which is...kind of everything) then we need to refocus.

After exchanging phone numbers with one of the senior girls there, Kim, I went to the bus stop and learned that I would be waiting for 40 minutes. So then I called and chatted with a good friend for a little while until I got on the bus. I love talking to him. He's helping me pick out a bike, which for me is a complicated situation, since I finally settled on a bike that's not currently in State College. Oh well, I will get one eventually.

When I got back to my apartment I headed over to the neighbors' and had some leftover chicken and gnocchi while watching the office (DVRs are the best things ever). Those boys are fun to have around, I'm glad they came here with me. Having a little piece of Behrend with me here is incredibly comforting. And they give me food. I mean, seriously, awesome? Yes.

Oh, and it monsooned all day. I did not wear my rain boots. But that was okay :-)

So today I made new friends, saw old friends, and got a lot of work accomplished. I'm getting my motivation back that I lost over senior design, and I am figuring out how to fit this whole new timing/commuting thing into my schedule. I can do this grad school thing after all.

That dreaded sentence

You know that sentence, when the teacher writes it on the bottom of your homework assignment? "See me." Yeah, that. I've always known about those two words, but have never actually seen them on my homework. I am supposed to be the A-student, who would occasionally do poorly on a test or a quiz, but never to the extent where the teacher wanted to see me. And I was 100% convinced that I did so well on that homework. I was deriving those differential equations and then solving them like nobody's business. And this is the class that I LIKE. This is the class that I thought I understood really well.

"I'm not convinced you understand" was also written on my homework. "You're missing some steps." "Wrong approach."

The funny thing is, I think my final answer turned out correct. Because deep down I knew what I was doing and where I needed to end up. I just didn't record it properly, and my reasons for doing the things I did were incorrect. I guess. Or I just didn't explain them. I was punished because I didn't derive the definition of pi before using it. That's how I feel at least. Where do you draw the line between what you derive and what you already know and use to solve the problem? I have a meeting with the professor tomorrow, I'll find out then I guess.

I guess my homework skills need some restructuring. In fact, all of my school skills in general need some restructuring. I need to study immediately after class so that I can remember what went on. I need to read ahead and take notes on my own. I need to start my homework more than 3 days before its due, and go in to the teachers office and ask questions. I need to write out every single little step along the way to solving the problems in my homework assignments. And maybe eat some pie. I've always worked hard, but this is a whole new level to working hard. My goodness, taking off points for deciding to label my velocity "u" when there's a possibility that it could be confused with internal energy is ridiculous. The problem statement said U. I decided to make it lower-cased. Big. Deal.

And the homework assignment I handed in this morning wasn't nearly as detailed as the one I got back. Ohboy. Gonna have to do some explaining on that one.

Grad school's hard. But a new challenge that I can conquer. I just need to figure it out first.

One of these things is not like the other.

Grad school is not the same as regular college. In case any of you wondered. It's a full-time job, plus classes that are way harder, with the added stress of commuting to both of these locations. Not gonna lie, nothing reminds you of how out-of-practice your differential equation solving skills more than a heat conduction class that requires you derive (and then solve) every differential equation you use. And Cartesian tensor notation, divergences, Gauss' theorem, Jacobians, and whatever that was that she derived today in class? We might have touched on those topics a little bit in fluids class a few years ago, but we only used them a few times, and never had to prove their existence for a test. Ugh. And did I mention that I also have a job? It's sort of required, unless of course I want to pay tuition. And next semester when/if I get a research assistantship, my job will be to be in that lab all the time. 40 hours a week, baby. I'm pumped.

On the other hand, ballet class has been lots of fun and make my Mondays really great. I randomly ran into Susan earlier this week, caught up with her, and discovered a new awesome study location. I met JoePa's wife at a Catholic Campus Ministry event on Sunday. I now have more than 3 friends. I have a favorite bus driver, an have decoded some of the bus driver radio lingo (C&A means College & Allen...haha). I had a really good grocery shopping experience this past Sunday, and because of that have been eating wonderfully this week (for lunch I packed myself mixed greens and crumbled feta cheese with balsamic vinaigrette dressing, with a side of yogurt mixed with a nectarine that I chopped up and sprinkled on top. I think that I am going to try much harder not to eat as crappily as I have in the past). Today I bought pom poms to take to the football game on Saturday.

Life is good.

Everything old is new again

I visited Behrend last night and saw some friends that I haven't seen since I graduated. One of them is a senior this year, and the other two are a couple that graduated a year ahead of me and were back to visit from Philadelphia. They also got engaged approximately 5 minutes before I pulled up (he wanted to propose at the exact place they met, so cute), so it was an exciting night.

I saw the new Dobbins from the outside. On March 1st, 2010 at about midnight, Dobbins Dining Hall looked like this:
In case you couldn't tell from the picture, it's ON FIRE. And epically so. Nobody thought there would even be a structure standing by the time they put it out. The entire student body (or at least the ones who lived either on campus or within a few miles) stood outside in the snow for 2 hours watching as firemen tried to control this blaze, listening to the glass in the windows shatter, wondering where they were going to eat the next morning, and hoping that somebody would cancel classes because of this insane turmoil (they didn't). It was a memorable day in Behrend's history. My roommates and I watched from our bedroom windows.

Here's what it looked like the next morning. Many thought that it was a miracle that the building was still standing. But you can see how devastated it was:

They were in the process of expanding and renovating the whole building it when this fire took place, and many were skeptical that it would be open in time for the students in the fall after the fire. I must say, they did a pretty good job. Last night it looked BEAUTIFUL. I wish I could have gone inside. This is what it currently looks like:


Since I left (it's been barely 4 months) they have changed so many things. In addition to finishing the Dobbins renovations with flying colors, they have:

1. Changed the name of the REDC. It is now the JBREDC, which is much harder to say (Jack Burke Research and Economic Development Center... in honor of our chancellor who just retired, which brings me to number 2).
2. Gotten a new chancellor. His name is Birx. The old one was Burke. If you say it out loud, it's almost exactly the same name. Hehe.
3. Finished building and started using a new Alumni Relations building.
4. Completely renovated Reed 117 from an ugly lecture hall with uncomfortable orange chairs to a beautiful theatre-style seating arrangement. The room is now solely for the use of clubs and organizations on campus, no classes will be held there anymore. Which to me is bizarre, since it was also the second largest classroom on campus. Maybe they'll have to cut down on class sizes, or something.
5. Started building a new convenience store in the bottom of the Reed Union Building, scheduled to open in Spring of '11.
6. Added computers and a printer to the cafe in the REDC (or JBREDC, whatever).
7. Continued renovations on the Science Building labs (mostly removing asbestos, but also renovating the lab rooms so they're no longer 100 years old).

So ridiculous! There weren't that many changes in the 4 total years I was a student! Although they were recovering from spending lots of money on the then brand-spankin-new REDC, so I guess that's excusable.

But it is almost a different place. And yet last night, it still felt like home